First Valentine's Day

Yesterday was my first Valentine's Day with Aubree. I didn't go all out and buy her a ton of stuff because I knew she wouldn't remember. All I bought her was a stuffed animal. She made valentines for her aunties and grandma though. I found the idea for them while browsing Pinterest(of course lol). They turned out so much better then I expected.

All I did was Modge Podge a piece of scrapbook paper to a piece of canvas then paint her feet prints onto another piece. Add some buttons and a quote and it's so adorable. :)

We had such a good day and I can wait for the next holiday! :)

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Aubree Goes Crazy for Bambi

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Aubree's Almost 5 Months And Way Too Big For My Liking

It has been quite some time since the last time I have written a post. And ALOT has happened in our life recently. Somethings I am not at liberty to discuss at the moment.

Aubree will be 5 months next Thursday. She is growing so fast and I am saddened by the fact that she is not so little anymore. She is breaking many boundaries that the Dr's and websites say a baby her age shouldn't be doing yet. She has started to hold her bottle at feeding time which Dr. Amy said she wouldn't be doing until she was 6-9 months if she even did it then. Also, she talks nonstop, it doesn't matter if you are paying any attention to her or not she sits there and will just talk to herself or to her doll. Haha. She is wearing 6 month clothes and soon I'll start having to put 9 month onesies on her as her legs are too long for them. She will be entering her very first pageant in October. I'm not doing glitz like honey booboo and Toddlers and Tiaras. It is a natural beauty pageant so she won't have makeup or fake hair. She has started to eat cereal and baby food. She is partial to it. Some days she will cry the entire time I am feeding her, then the next day she is an angel and will open her mouth for every spoonful. I feel like she is growing up to fast and next week she will be going to prom or something.

My job is going wonderful. I love working there. I volunteer to stay late for others because I need the money but it is a fun job too. I'm not getting paid as much as my old job at the nursing home but it is still pretty decent pay for what I am doing. I was really hoping to start school this semester but I am held off until spring semester because I never got to take a required test before registration day. I am really upset about it because I wanted to get it all over and done with so the faster I could start providing Aubree with a better life then what I can at the moment. Money is extremely tight right now. I am searching for a car but I don't know how I'll ever be able to afford one. The most money I'll have left over at the end of the month is probably $40 and I'll be needing to buy diapers and such for Aubree. So at this rate a car is a far and distant dream. I'm moving out of my parents house. Mostly because I have to. I would much rather have been able to save for a car first but I won't have enough time. 

I feel very alone lately. My sisters and mom go and hang out together but I'm never invited to come along. It makes me feel as if I'm not even part of the family.. I hate being by myself during the day. I think too much then I just get even more depressed and sad. My best friend Des has been there for me a lot. And I love her for it. She is an amazing help with babysitting Aubree when I'm at work, but I feel terrible because I have nothing to offer her in return. I'd love to pay her but I can barely afford the stuff I have to pay now. And I worry that I'm being bothersome asking her to watch her for me. Which could just be my social awkwardness or it could be the truth. I hate asking people for things, always have always will. I just feel like I'm bothersome to everyone. And the no car situation doesn't help because I don't want to have to ask people for rides everywhere just to get some groceries or to go to work. I feel like a burden to some of the people in my life.

I would love for just one thing to go right sometime in the near future. I know God doesn't give us more then he knows we can handle, but it feels like more then I can handle right now.

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What An AMAZING Day!

Today was simply amazing! I didn't have anything extremely awesome happen to be, but I am definitely  having miracles worked. Today, I had my placement testing for college this fall. I was a little bit worried, because it has now been 6 years that I have been out of school for, and I didn't want to get stuck in all the beginner's classes. I was the first one to finish the test, like always. I've always been book smart in school. Anyways, I did awesome, I tested to the highest English class and to the Algebra class that is a requirement for the radiography program. I go Monday to take the computer skills test and then I go Wednesday to meet with my advisor and register for classes! I'm really excited. When I finish I will be the first one to graduate from college in my family. That's a big step. Especially when I need to do it for Aubree. I don't want to have to struggle to buy her what she wants and needs as she grows up. I would like to give her opportunities that I never got. I'd love for her to do gymnastics and play softball or volleyball and do the girl scouts. I want her to be able to do all those activities.

Also, I had a job interview at a restaurant on Sunday after church. She didn't really ask me any questions but basically told me what I would need to buy and that she would call me when the GM came back and approved my application. So I called her this afternoon and she asked me when I would be able to come in to start training. I go in tomorrow at 4:30 :) This is such a relief, I have been looking for a job since November when I was basically forced to quit at the nursing home. And then it was hard because nobody wants to hire a pregnant woman. But thank the good Lord I finally got one. It might not pay a lot but its enough for me to save for a new car and be able to buy my daughter diapers. 

I think I've decided I am going to start putting Aubree into pageants. I know what you are thinking. You are thinking about crazy moms like on Toddlers & Tiaras. But, I don't want to enter her into those glitz pageants. They do have pageants that are natural. They still wear the frilly dresses and stuff but there are no fake teeth, hair and tans. I want to do it because I think that it would be fun for her and if she wins they get money and I would love to put it in a savings account for her so when she is older she can use it to buy a car or go to college. I would love for her to not have to worry about money and everything. It's a hard world out there and I just want to help my daughter be the best at what she does and who she is.

In just a few days, she will be 4 months old. I really can't tell where all the time has gone. It feels like just yesterday my water was breaking and my beautiful little girl was making her dramatic entrance into the world. She has grown so much. She is such a little smiley thing. Any chance she gets shes grinning away. Even at perfect strangers. She talks a lot now. She coos and coos. It's so adorable. I'm still waiting for her to laugh though. She hasn't yet and it's something we are working on. She acts like she's about to and then she doesn't. I feel like she will soon be sitting up by herself too. She will pull up when shes laying on you like she is trying to sit up. And my God does she have a temper. When she starts crying she will scream bloody murder. She really likes those ice pops that slide up in the plastic wrapper. I eat them all the time and she will sit there and lick it when I put it to her face. It is the cutest thing, she likes it but them scrunches up her face because it is so cold and she isn't familiar with the taste. She goes to the doctor in a few days for her check up and to get some more shots. I hope they say that I can start feeding her some rice cereal. :)

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Aubree Started Talking!

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Getting School Stuff Started...Finally

This past week I've been trying really hard to start getting my college stuff ready so I can start school in the fall. I have a lot to do in a short time before school starts but I think I can get it done. I'll have to take online courses this semester until I can purchase a car. I want to go for Radiography. I've always been fascinated when I go to the E.R. and have to get x-rays taken. It also is a good paying job, and being a single mom that is what I really need. I would love to do this course. When I get settled and have a good job and place to call my own I wanna go back for Ultrasound tech also. I just want to have my options open so I never have to settle for less then I want. 

I want to give Aubree the best possible life I can as a single mom. I know I'll meet someone one day and get married, but for now I want to be as independent as possible and not have to rely on others for help. It'll take me sometime but its possible. I know I'll be able to do it. 

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Aubree Realizes I'm Filming Her Cry

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Update On Miss Aubree

Saturday we took Aubree to the Emergency Room. The Dr. there said she had a hernia and that we had to take her to her pediatrician so they could give us a referral to her surgeon. We took her to the pediatrician and she said that she had a hernia too. 

Today we took her down to Charlotte to meet with her surgeon and he said she doesn't have a hernia. They said that it is just where there is a weakened section of her diaphragm muscle from when she had her hernia surgery before. He said that it disappears on its own but that it would take several months for it to. He told me that if it was still there in a few months and that it was still creating concern for me that I should call them for another appointment and they will take another look at it.

chilling at the drs office today.

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Cute Video Of Aubree In The NICU

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Like I Said When It Rains, It Pours

Like I said in my last post when it rains it pours right? 

Today I was trying to clean out Aubree's clothes to see what fit her and what didn't. I had taken her onesie off because I was trying a few thing on her. She started to fuss so I stopped cleaning to feed her. While she was eating she stopped and started crying and arching her back. I looked down and notice this lump protruding from her lower left abdomen. 

I called my mom in to have a look at her. We decided to rush her to the E.R. When we got there it felt like an eternity before we were seen. I was so scared that her Diaphragmatic Hernia had come back even though I knew it was too low for it. They took some xrays of her and then we sat in the patient room for what felt like forever again. Finally my mom went out to ask if we could feed her and if anyone was gonna come and look at her. About 5 minutes later, a doctor walked in. He said that she has another hernia but this one is not life threatening. I couldn't believe it. My poor angel. He said that I needed to call her pediatrician on Monday to schedule a follow up so she could get her scheduled to meet with a surgeon. I feel terrible for her. Only just turned 3 months old and she will be having her 2nd surgery in the near future. I feel like this is my fault even though they are common in babies. I wish there was something I could do to help her. I feel as though I'm failing at being her mother. A parent is supposed to protect their child from harm and I am doing a terrible job at it. Every time I look at her I want to cry. How could God put such a tiny helpless person through so much so early? 

I will keep you guys updated on her condition as we learn more about treatment plans and such. Please keep us in your prayers.

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A Summertime Update

So this summer has been pretty eventful for Aubree and I. We have been to the lake and the pool a bunch of times with her Auntie Desirae, Uncle Jake and Rhylan. She has learned to love the water. The first time I put her in she was screaming bloody murder. Now she just lays there sucking on her pacifier enjoying the water. It is probably because it has been so hot outside lately! The temperature here in NC has been in the high 90s and we have even had some days above 100 degrees! While I love this weather it has been a bit ridiculous. 

We spent the 4th of July at the lake with Auntie Tiff, Auntie D and all of her family. I love that family. Since I can remember they have always made me feel like I was apart of the family. I have spent many a days hanging with them since I was about 12. We seperated for a few years and didn't talk, but I am so glad that they are apart of my life again. 

We went to watch her "cousin" Rhylan in the 4th of July parade that they were having in town. The lights and sirens from the firetrucks and police cars and the marching band from the high school did not phase her one bit. She just sat there being nosy and looking around at everything.

her adorable 4th outfit

waiting for the parade to start

We also had a few big milestones the last couple weeks. Aubree has discovered her thumbs finally and is starting to suck more on them then her pacifier. She also started rolling over from her stomach to her back. You can check out the video that I posted on our youtube page to see that. 

Youtube.com/BlessHerCottonSocksL

She turned 3 months on Friday. She is growing up way to fast. Sometimes, I wish she would just stop. She is constantly grinning away and her colic seems to have gone away (thank the Lord).

picture her talented Auntie Desirae took.

We will soon have more adventures to write about. A few will be challenging ones and I hope plenty more milestones and happy memories. 

As for me, I will be turning 24 on the 29th of this month. I feel so old when I look at the number but I still feel like the quiet 20 year old who needs to step out of her shell more often and start speaking up for myself and what I believe is the truth. 

I'm still working on my relationship with my Lord Jesus and trying to get more comfortable with who I am, body and mind. I have a few great friends that I can go to for anything and I know they wont judge me. They both have blogs. You should really go read them. 

vivaciousinred.blogspot.com

weretheyoungfamily.blogspot.com

and extremesavingwithcoupondivadesirae.com

they are both amazing and profound women who have a lot to say.

And Desirae is an extreme couponer. She has helped me a ton!

I'm still on the search for a job. I'm hoping and praying that I will be blessed with one very soon. I dislike other people paying for stuff for me. I have always been full of pride and feel like a deadbeat when people buy stuff for me no matter how little the cost. I would really like a job by the end of the month. My original goal was to be moved out by Christmas. Realistically I doubt that will happen but I will try my best. I was planning on going back to school in the fall but without a car to get back and forth to the college I have had to postpone those plans as well. When it rains it pours right?

I apologize for the length of this post, but it feels great to be able to write and get stuff off my chest.

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Aubree Finally Rolls Over For The Camera

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Aubree Trying To Roll Over

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Diaper Mania

So lately Aubree seems to be going through more and more diapers. I've been going back and forth between brands. We normally buy what is the cheapest. I'm starting to notice which brands are actually worth what you pay for and which ones aren't even worth buying just because they are cheaper. I really like Pampers. That's what the NICU that Aubree stayed in were using and I've bought many packs of them. I haven't had her leak out of them yet and they last a good while. Huggies are ok. I don't like them nearly as much as the Pampers but Ive been using coupons on those and was getting them for a really good price. Lord, let me tell ya ll about the Walmart brand diapers. They are terrible. Just in the last week Aubree has leaked out a handful of times. And its not like she has been in that diaper all day. Ill change her and about half an hour later that diaper is so puffy and disgusting. I wouldn't recommend them at all. When i finish this box of them, I will never purchase them ever again. So I know Ive always been told that name brand doesn't matter but in this case I do believe it does.

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Happy Father's Day to Me :)

Yesterday was Father's Day. Now normally you would get a super cheesy card for the father that's from the kid and the dad would gloat over it like the world was in that card. But since Aubree has no father in her life we didn't do any such thing. I consider myself her father, I mean I take care of her 24/7 without any help from the person who should be helping me. He hasn't been around since she was born. I've replaced that role as her father.

 She has an Uncle Jake who I know she will love when she grows up. He is so cute with her. He will carry her around and make funny faces at her and everything its sweet. I know she will look up to him when she gets older and see how great of a father he is to his own son and she will see that not all men are like her father. :)

I do hope one day to find a husband that will love Aubree as much as I do and that will be a father to her. I know I have high hopes and that I should probably set my standards and dreams lower, but I just want Aubree to have the best life possible. I want her to have a ton of people in her life who want nothing more then for her to be happy and love on her. All of this was part of God's plan for her and I and I know he wouldn't give me this situation unless he knew I could handle it. I thank God everyday that he did put me in this situation because I realized how strong of a person I am. I love Aubree more then life itself and I would do anything for her. She is my world.

So to all the single moms out in the world, Happy Father's Day. No one really thinks to acknowledge us one this day because we aren't a man. But we are stronger then anyone else because we are doing everything by ourselves. Whether the dad be a dead-beat, or tragically passed away, we are still the ones who have to hold the family together and work harder then ever to provide the best lives we can for our children.

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Aubree's 2 Month Checkup

Yesterday was Aubree's 2 month check-up. She had to get some vaccinations. One in mouth and the other 2 in her thighs. I'm not sure how I feel about all these vaccines. I mean I had chicken pox when I was little and I didn't die and I'm perfectly fine now. Anyways, They asked me all the standard questions about her eating habits and bowel movements, etc. Then they weighed and measured her. She is now 11lbs and 12.5oz. And she was 25inches long. Her weight was in the 50-75 percentile. Her length was in the >25 percentile. Her doctor showed me a graph and where the lines are for all the baby girls in America that are her age she is way above them. She is gonna be a seriously tall little girl. :) She was very fussy last night after we got home. I believe it was because of the shots. Today she seems normal and is chilling in her bouncer at my feet.

This past weekend we spent some time at the lake with friends. I tried putting her in the pool with me and she hated it. She drew her feet up and started crying. So she spent most of her time hanging out in the shade with her Auntie Des.  



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Aubree's 2 Months Old Today

I can't believe my baby girl is already 2 months old. It feels like a lot longer though. But it was barely over a month ago when I was finally getting to bring her home. It's crazy how the time has flown but seemed to take forever all at the same time. We've had a lot of changes and stuff happen. From the surgery to 3 weeks in the nicu in Charlotte to her formula being changed 3 times! It's a struggle everyday for me to take care of her and manage to find the time to do housework, laundry, workout and do the crafts and recipes. But I have an amazing support system. Her nana is so helpful with her. She doesn't mind watching her or feeding her or something when i need a break just to eat some supper. I love this little human with all my heart and soul. She's my world and I couldn't imagine what life would be like if I never had her or lost her because of the hernia. I thank God for her everyday. 

She is my little miracle <3

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Aubree Today

You would never be able to tell she has CDH unless you see her incision site

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Aubree Before Her Surgery

This is Aubree before her surgery to repair her CDH

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Welcome To My Blog

Hey ya'll my name is Lisa Springstead. I am a 23 year old single mother of a beautiful baby girl named Aubree. She is 8 weeks old today and a miracle. I guess I'll use this post to tell you about me and my life.

I was born in New Jersey but raised in North Carolina. I live in a smallish town called Mooresville. We are known for all our NASCAR race shops and Lake Norman. I consider myself a country girl. I love going to the rodeo, the dragstrip, the NASCAR races, and bonfires. I mostly stay around the house these days though because of Aubree.

My daughters name is Aubree Miriam. She was born April 6. She was born with a congenital diaphragmatic hernia. CDH is a hole that is in the diaphragm and the intestines and stomach develop up in the chest cavity preventing the lungs from developing properly. Luckily Aubrees was a late development and her lungs where fully developed when the hernia occured. She had surgery when she was 4 days old and is now doing amazing. I always say she just wanted a bit of extra attention when she came out lol. Im not sure if I'll ever give her siblings because the chances of having another baby with CDH are 1 in 50. Her father chose not to be in the picture. Which I am ok with now. At the beginning it was difficult to process the thought of raising our child alone but I am doing very well at it I would like to think.

This is a blog about my successes and not so successful attempts at life, motherood, crafts, recipes, and a diet. Maybe a comical here and there just for fun lol. I hope you have fun sharing the ups and downs with me. God bless ya'll :)

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